Jewish

The following poem deals with the experiences that the typical Jew experience throughout the year. I add in personal experiences and opinions on my Jewish heritage. The poem has a relatively serious tone to it due to the importance of Judaism in my life. At times while I may disagree or not want to follow the traditions that come with being Jewish, it is important to me that I follow them. Just like there are rules to being Christian and Muslim, this poem presents the "rules" of being Jewish. The poem takes the format of Jamaica Kincaid's "Girl" which has a unique, long winded, writing style. The poem outlines the qualities or beliefs that may or may not be found in the lives of an average Jewish person, because like we have been discussing, who is to determine how an individual acts, even if that person is a member of a particular group, sect, or religion.



Observe the Sabbath every Saturday; no driving; no lights; light the candles every Saturday night; use your weekly day of rest; go to temple; this is how you read the torah; no talking, no talking at all; all cell phones off, no chewing gum; listen to the haftorah service. Go to temple for Rosh Hashanah when all of your Christian friends are off from school; suck it up; this is how you put your tallit on; I hate wearing a tallit; listen to the shofar blow; this is how the cantors face gets bright red; Rosh Hashanah’s over, Yom Kippur is next; no food; no food at all; go to temple with your stomach grumbling; this is how you get through temple; open the sidor and follow the Hebrew, service will go faster; read the English out loud to show your paying attention; this is how you kiss the torah when it passes; watch your friends read from the torah; listen to the shofar blow, again; go home and sleep, watch a movie, preferably with a Jew in it; this is how you get through the day; at night when you can eat; eat until you throw up. Channukah is the festival of lights; this is how you recite the words to Adam Sandler’s Channukah song; we have 8 crazy nights; this is how you light the candles, right to left; don’t blow the candles out under any circumstances; it is bad luck; this is how you sing the Channukah songs; this is how you spin the dreidel, your dreidel is not made out of clay. Passover, is a holiday that celebrates G-d sparing the Jews when he killed the first born of Egypt; I hate Passover; during Passover you can eat no leavened bread or any kind of food with yeast; this is what matzah is, an unleavened piece of “bread”; I hate matzah; Passover is one of those holidays that you hate when it comes but must celebrate. This is what a Bar Mitzvah is; it is the coming of age of a Jewish boy or girl at the age of 13; it is more then a big party which most people think it is; this is how to become a bar mitzvah; you must learn the prayers and learn the torah portion and recite them in front of hundreds of people; this is what the party is; a mini wedding; consisting of a band, a dj, fancy food, fancy dresses, open bars, and fun activities. This is what being Kosher is; food in accordance with the Jewish law; this is what non-kosher food is; food with the presence of ingredients derived form non-kosher animals; bacon, shrimp, cheeseburgers, lobster; all non-kosher; It’s hard I know; I keep Kosher in my house; separate dishes for meat and dairy; separate silverware for meat and dairy. This is what the holocaust did to Jews; 6 million Jews wiped off the planet; always remember the holocaust. I live with a dad who is very Jewish and follows lots of Jewish customs that the average Jew would not know or listen to; this is how you deal with it; while at times I may hate it; I know in the long run it will help mold me into the man I will become.